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The civil rights movement America deserves: Clown Lives Matter

Which “Lives Matter” has been a point of conflict within the cultural zeitgeist for some time now, but the most recent group to throw their name in to the “_______ Lives Matter” dialogue is arguably the most unanimously undeserving of all of “groups” – clowns. That’s right, clowns – those nightmarish entities of humor and horror are galvanizing across the nation to bring about awareness to their supposed “plight.”

As clowns have begun to crop up and terrorize folks all across the eastern seaboard and southeast, clowns West of the Mississippi have taken it upon themselves to reassure the general population that the handful of clowns attempting to pay homage to Stephen King’s Pennywise the Clown or John Wayne Gacy, Jr. are not indicative of the clown community as a whole.

In what will inevitably be a less-than-impressive attempt to subdue the mounting tension surrounding clowns being assaulted while out in public (which begs the question, “why wear a clown costume anywhere other than to the event which requires one to wear a clown costume?”), the clown community of Tuscon, Arizona have taken it upon themselves to have a Clown Lives Matter march.

Sure, the idea seems fair enough in premise – outside of the fact that clowns are the oppressed group in question – but as the intent is to subvert the increasingly negative connotation surrounding clowns, it’s almost inevitable to think that the clowns will all but be harassed and bothered more than supported or even begin to be taken seriously. That being said, there is a bright side to all of this – traffic to get to the event will likely be non-existent as most of the clowns will likely ride in one car to get to the event. Even better, there will certainly be nose honks and ahooga horns to let people know the “March of the Clowns” has commenced in the city of Tuscon.

Realistically, the Clown Lives Matter march in Tuscon come October 15th is unlikely to cause much of a ruckus outside of the meme and social media market, but if things do go south at some point during the march just remember when fighting a bunch of clowns, its best to go for the juggler.

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