11 products that make drinking way too easy

Written by | Booze

Drinking. As Homer Simpson says, it’s “the cause, and solution, to all of life’s problems.” But these products make it way too easy to get drunk. So you can have the best time you’ll never remember. So Check out our slide show of the products that mkae drinking way too easy.

Fake Tampon Flasks

Booze flask

Image: Amazon.com

These fake Tampons are used to smuggle a few shots worth of booze into events in your purse. Seems like it would work pretty well, since no security guy is going to want to investigate tampons.

And this guy had a pretty awesome comment that’s worth sharing:

For years I used actual tampons to smuggle liquor, and it was a difficult learning process with trial and error. It took several tries to discover that unused tampons hold more liquor than used tampons. However, the technique was still problematic as I would absorb the alcohol too quickly. Once I realized you could siphon the booze orally, things went much more smoothly. But if you don’t add the food coloring you can get caught, and if you do add it people look at you very strangely (which doesn’t make much sense to me given the current popularity of vampires in the media).

“Smartflask”

amazon flask

Image: Amazon.com

This flask is designed to sneak booze into places in the guise of an iPhone. It also includes an integrated bottle opener on the back. It’s a good answer to the question of how can I get hammered for free in a bar?

Tie Flask

Amazon

Image: Amazon.com

Not only do you have to wear a tie at work, but you can’t even get drunk. Well, now you can change that, thanks to this flask tie which can hide up to 8 oz of liquor, conveniently stashed.

Giant Flask

Giant Flask

Image: Amazon

Do you look at most of these flasks and say, “Sure, it looks great, but there’s no way that’s enough to get me drunk.” Well don’t worry, there’s a flask for you too. This giant steel flask can hold up to a gallon of booze. Of course, the fact that it’s impossible to stash discreetly means that it kind of defeats the purpose of a flask.

Ring Bottle Opener

amazon, key openers

Image: Amazon

Do you have a friend who can pop open a beer bottle with a ring, and try as you might you can’t seem to replicate it? Well, these rings with a built-in bottle opener might make it a little bit easier, and give you some beer related versatility.

The Wine Rack

Wine Rack

Image:Amazon

Just in case you’re still having trouble sneaking booze into sporting events, the winerack is yet another option. It uses two refillable bladders inside a bra you can fill with the beverage of your choice and suck it down through a hose though people around you might wonder why your bust is mysteriously shrinking.

Corckcicle

Corkcicile

Image: Amazon

Corckicle is a device that you slide into a beer, chilling it from the inside, delivering ice cold beer much faster than sticking it in a cooler. It’s how James Bond cools his beers before he drinks 10 of them.

The Beer-Belly

Beer Belly

Image: Amazon

Are you a man who likes the idea of the fake, wine smuggling bra, but worries that suddenly appearing in public with ample breasts would mean answering a bunch of awkward questions about when you decided to transition?

Well, the Beer Belly is your answer. Simulating the effects of the cirrhosis that accompanies morbid alcoholism, the Beer Belly lets you sneak 80 ounces of booze into dry events. Honestly, I’m tempted to mock this, but as far as smuggling large amounts of alcohol around, this is absolutely brilliant.

Fake Sunscreen Flask

Sunscreen, Booze

Image: Amazon

You know how those prudes at the waterpark won’t let you bring in booze in the “interest of public safety”? Lame. Show them who’s boss with this sunscreen bottle that is secretly a receptacle for undercover booze smuggling.

Chill Pack

Chill Pack

Image:Amazon

The Chill Pack lets you smuggle booze under the guise of one of those artificial ice packs. It’s pretty convincing, so the odds of anyone catching you with it are pretty slim. The only downside might be that it’s kind of small.

Margaritaville Frozen Drink Maker

Margaritaville

Image: Amazon.com

This drink maker from lets you make three mixed frozen drinks pitchers at the same time. You can even set the dial for the consistency so you can make daiquiris, margaritas or even smoothies. Pretty versatile and great for parties.

Last modified: March 1, 2017