It’s not everyday that Paul Ryan gets dabbed on, but yesterday was one of them. The culprit, the cool teen son of Kansas Republican Roger Marshall, got his dab on when posing for the family swearing in picture. Speaker Ryan, dork that he is, was all, “What’s wrong with you? Are you going to sneeze? Put your arm down.” Then later the cool teen’s dad tweeted at the Speaker that his cool teen son was “grounded.”
That’s pretty lame. Not as lame as Paul Ryan’s tweet about all the “cute” kids he met that day who didn’t dab on him, because he “doesn’t get dabbing.”
Apparently he knows what dap is, because he’s giving out pounds to hella kids. Remember in 2008 when that clown lady on Fox News called the Barack and Michelle’s fist bump a “Terrorist Fist Jab?” Jesus Christ people are stupid. And it’s not just Republicans who don’t know what’s up. When Loretta Sanchez dabbed during her debate with Kamala Harris I saw a lot of Democrats on Facebook asking, “What the fuck is that?” and I had to tell them, “You guys don’t even know, Sanchez just locked up the coveted 8-12 year-old demographic with that move. And sure enough, it was her makeup lady’s 9 year-old daughter who told her to do it. The kids know. Everyone made fun of Hillary dabbing on Ellen but if 9-12 year-olds could vote, she’d have won all 50 states.
Anyway, Congressman Marshall’s cool teen son is the early frontrunner for Raddest Person because any time Paul Ryan gets dabbed on, that’s hella rad.