Marijuana Traffickers Get Too High, Turn Themselves In, Because Paranoia

Remember that obligatory scene in every drug movie when someone tells some low-level goons not to sample the product? Well, this is why. A drug smuggler in Idaho called 911 and turned himself in, admitting that he and his friend had over 20 pounds of weed.

22-year-old Leland Ayala-Doliente and 23-year-old Holland Sward were transporting the product from Las Vegas, NV to Bozeman, MT on January 23, 2015, but after sampling a little bit too much of the product—which everyone knows not to do—Ayala-Doliente ended up getting a bit too paranoid and calling the police, turning both himself and his accomplice into law enforcement.

East Idaho News was the first to break the story, and they also got ahold of the 911 call, sharing the transcript for everyone to read/laugh about. You’ll find it below. First, though, a word of warning; never sample the product until the job is done. If the job is never done, don’t sample the product ever.

Easy, right? Take a look at the transcript below for a good laugh.

Here’s some of the phone call:

Ayala-Dolitente: Hi, uh, we’re the two dumb asses that got caught trying to bring some stuff through your border and all your cops are just driving around us like a bunch of jack wagons and I’d just like for you guys to end it. If you could help me out with that, we would like to just get on with it.

Dispatcher: You got caught doing what?

Ayala-Dolitente: Ahh… okay. Um… We kind of got spooked here trying to bring some stuff across your Idaho border.

Dispatcher: Ok.

Ayala-Dolitente: And, yeah. A bunch of your cops driving around in a bunch of civilian cars not wanting to pick us up. I don’t know what’s the deal. I was just wondering if you could help us out and just end it.

Dispatcher: Ok… um….

Ayala-Dolitente:Yeah… if you could call one of them. I don’t know. It’s getting cold out here man. I just want to get warm and just get on with this whole thing so…

Dispatcher: Ok. Where you at right now?

Ayala-Dolitente: University Boulevard right next to the gas station and Applebee’s. All your buddies are around us so if you could help us out that’d be great.

Dispatcher: Ok… alright. Is it just you or is there anybody else with you?

Ayala-Dolitente: It’s me and my buddy that I brought with me and then we have a dog that we were gonna bring back to it’s owner but…

Dispatcher: Oh ok.

Ayala-Dolitente: She’s a really nice dog. She’s not mean. She’s a pitbull…

Dispatcher: Oh… cool.

Ayala-Dolitente: She’s really cold in the car. She could use some food too.

Dispatcher: Ok. What was your name man?

Ayala-Dolitente:: It’s Leland.

Dispatcher: Leland… okay. Hold on just one second okay. Stay on the phone with me.

Ayala-Dolitente: Alright. Thank you.

(speaking to Sward): He’s a nice guy.

Want me to jump in the air and click my heels twice or what?

Dispatcher: Do you guys have any guns or weapons or anything on you at all?

Ayala-Dolitente:

Dispatcher: Alright. I just wanna make sure. They’re just curious.

Ayala-Dolitente: Yeah, yeah. We tried walking away from the car a couple times and that didn’t work. We tried waving them down and that didn’t work so I don’t know what’s going on here.

Dispatcher: Ok. I do have one of my marked units. He’s on his way over there so he’s on his way to meet you.

Ayala-Dolitente: Alright. Thank you.

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Preston Hemmerich

Preston has bold opinions about one's societal responsibility, capitalism, and how plebes ought to be treated. Preston also forgets that sarcasm and satire seldom are detected on the internet and deploys their use frequently regardless.