Baby Dolphin Selfied To Death By Human Garbage

baby dolphin being killed by assholes on beach

Sometimes you come across something and you look at it and you say to yourself, “Jesus Christ, we, as a species, are doomed and irredeemable as a species and should go extinct, the sooner the better, because the Earth is a better place without us.”

I mean, look at this cute little dolphin! Let’s pull it out of the water and take a bunch of selfies it with it. These people–who are us, we are them, we are all guilty and terrible–literally selfied this baby dolphin to death on a beach because…God damn it, there is no good reason why.

Fuck us. There is no excuse for this. We saw a cute little dolphin, a member of a “vulnerable” species, swimming around by the beach and picked it up out of the water, where it cannot survive, and passed it around like the fucking Stanley Cup.

Everyone of us should die in a fire. A big, fiery nuclear explosion that not only destroys humanity before it can infect the universe with its vapidity and bottomless need for spectacle and sorrow, but puts the rest of the planet out the misery we’ve caused it.  

We should take all 15,000 nuclear weapons currently stockpiled around the globe, make big stacks of them, strategically placed around the world and then have a giant lighting ceremony and explode them all at once, in a Hands-around-world-style chain reaction, where we can sit and watching them coming for us, knowing that we deserve much more painful, prolonged deaths that we’re getting.

Humanity is the worst. Let it burn.


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John P Sousa

John P Sousa is a Digital Content Producer at 301Brands. His Facebook feed infuriates him. He got his MFA in Creative Writing from Trump University. He mostly retweets NBA Memes at @johnpsousa.