7 theories on why Donald Trump has orange skin

Written by | Humor, Satire

Apparently orange really is the new black. Donald Trump has become an interesting character in today’s society. First, he was a narcissistic billionaire who had a reality tv show that some people enjoyed because of his hilarious business antics, but somehow now he is our Republican party nominee for President of the United States. How did that happen?

Aside from that puzzling idea, we have a more important question. Why is Donald Trump’s skin always orange? This is a serious issue that we have looked into in attempts to inform the American people the truth about the person who could possibly be calling the shots in our country. Does he know how he looks? Either way, these are our best guesses as to why Trump always looks like that girl who just got a bad spray tan.

Before you read on I want to make it clear that we contemplated whether we should even write this article here at Men’s Trait. Judging people solely on their appearances is something we don’t ever like to do, and this seemed like no exception. However, after thinking about Donald Trump and every offensive thing he has ever said for 2.4 seconds, we realized that we don’t give a shit. Enjoy.

Image: giphy

Image: giphy

He eats a large quantity of carrots, sweet potatoes and squash

Foods rich in beta-carotene can cause a condition in which your skin turns an orange-ish color, called carotenemia. Trump could have an unhealthy (yet healthy) obsession with eating large amounts of these foods like carrots, sweet potatoes and squash which would explain his skin color. Food addiction is real and I highly suggest Trump sees a professional about the effects of over-eating.

He spray tans too often

Spray tanning can be very effective when a person wants a little color, but doesn’t want to damage their skin. However, Mr. Trump seems to have taken that advice extremely literally. Based on our careful observations, the color of his skin looks as if he receives a spray tan each morning, and even wears tanning goggles to protect his eyes from getting damaged. His “reverse raccoon eyes” show the parts of skin that were missed by the spray tan and therefore lighter. Maybe wait a few days in between sprays. Also, if he wants to get back to a more natural look, there are lots of good products for removing spray tans.

via GIPHY

He uses an actual tanning bed

Tanning beds offer a slightly more “natural” look than spray tans, but they still alter the appearance and texture of your real skin. The reverse raccoon eyes could also be explained by the goggles in the tanning bed, but the orange color would have to result from lots of tanning bed use. People are actually addicted to using tanning beds, and we may need to add Trump to that list soon. The first step is admitting you have a problem.

He is obsessed with looking youthful

It’s a common belief that looking tan makes you look and feel younger, slimmer and more attractive. At 70 years old and married to a much younger woman, its not hard to come to the conclusion that he wants to look (and be) younger, especially as he is in the public eye. It’s only a matter of time before he gets an entire face lift and claims he is 30 again.

He thinks he is in a beauty pageant

Presidential debates and campaign events could easily be mistaken for a beauty pageant, with all the bright lights and people parading around on stage. Sadly, maybe Donald is just severely confused about the organization he is a part of. Makeup and essentially competing with others are components to both pageants and presidential debates. If spray tanning will give him a leg up on the other pageant girls (Hillary), why wouldn’t he do it?

He actually thinks it looks good

Trump was quoted saying, “All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.” which implies that he expects all women to flirt with him. If a woman flirts with a man, that typically means that she is somewhat attracted to him. To bring this full circle, Trump thinks he is attractive, oompa loompa skin and all. Narcissistic personality disorder is a legitimate disorder that many people struggle with and see a therapist for. The few people in Trump’s life that truly care about him should direct him to a professional that can help him.

trump oompa loompa

He is simply unstable

One of the first signs that someone is mentally ill is odd behavior. Donald Trump contradicts himself left and right, and has been heard saying countless things that have everyone scratching their heads. Just one example: “My net worth fluctuates, and it goes up and down with markets and with attitudes and with feelings—even my own feelings—but I try.” Maybe his lack of mental stability and understanding of reality prevents him from even realizing what is going on. To him, his skin is normal in color and shouldn’t be changed. Reality check, Mr. Trump, you’re not fooling anyone and carrot face does not look normal.

Last modified: March 1, 2017

  • urbanegorilla

    I heard he has a skin condition or disease and uses the spray tan and heavy pan stick to disguise it. it could be psoriasis, bad rosacea or large age spots… Who knows? You tell me. sad..Very sad.. Third rate.

  • Leigh Knight

    I love how he makes fun of women’s looks and a former Apprentice contestants “bad skin” saying she needed a dermatologist. Calling that beauty queen a fat pig (at 135lbs I might add) and what women he would grab. Does he not own a mirror, or is he just THAT delusional ? Can he actually think ANY woman would have him if he weren’t filthy rich?? LMAO I think he would still be a virgin if he couldn’t afford to pay for p*ssy.

    • Brian Geary

      Even with his money, his wives have always looked like drag queens. Take a really good, honest look at Melania. She could absolutely pass for a ladyboy. Ivana – no question that she looked like a man in drag. Marla was the most feminine, but still plastic, although I’ll concede she’s the most womanly looking out of the three.

  • Nikki Ty-Tomkins

    Alas, for someone so critical of other people’s appearance, Trump looks like a pumpkin.

  • lfrohling

    There is another one (tin hats on standby) after being filmed his skin in tinted orange in post production. It’s a very easy and quick thing to do (I can do it myself using video editing software)

  • lfrohling

    And another thing- I thought being racist (ie. judging people on their looks) was bad? Hmmm

    • Brian Geary

      Then take it up with your orange racist in chief.

    • Are you really saying a white man being mad fun of for having a really awful spray tan is akin to being racially discriminated against? Are you truly that daft?

  • Came here from a non-Trump top ten list that asserted that carotenoid tans are objectively found to be more attractive to women than suntans. What a weird finding, I thought, I wonder if that’s true? Google led me here.

    I still don’t know about the relative effects on female interest of different tans but I do know that this is a political outlet on the left masquerading as a men’s outlet.

    Very unattractive.

    • Brian Geary

      Yes, Trump is very unattractive.

      • 3 wives and a decades long tabloid storied life of hot dates all over New York, you’re right, very unattractive.

        Women love unattractive men.

  • Glock27a

    Simply stupid, the article.

    • Were you trying to write a haiku and forget to finish?

  • Kathy Linn

    President Trump has a skin condition either affected by or in addition to health related medications. I doubt it is a bad spray tan, after all, he can afford the best although it could be one contributing factor. A decade or so ago, his skin coloring was not as it is now. All you haters…your hypocrisy and own narcissism is showing about medical issues related to but not only to age. So, you hate elderly people who are no longer attractive and have medical issues with side effects of medicine treating them, and hate people with different skin color. Congratulations!